10 March 2010

Jazzy Jeans

Who knew a pair of jeans could create a strange, yet intriguing phenomenon?  But what jeans could have such an effect on the world?

Mom Jeans, that's what. And when women (and sometimes men) wear Mom Jeans, it creates a phenomenon called "Mom Butt", which resembles an upside down heart shape in the rear.

"Mom Butt" occurs when women, usually over the age of 35, wear unflattering jeans, such brands as Lee and Rider (basically anything found at KMart).  These jeans are usually short and/or tapered, showing the ankle (cankle in some cases), occasionally come without rear pockets, and sometimes even feature pleats, surrounding the crotch area.  Perhaps the most flattering result of wearing Mom Jeans is the camel toe, a direct result of the high waist of the jeans, which rest barely an inch away from the bra line.

I have my suspicions as to why women choose to wear Mom Jeans.  Comfort, some say.  Style, some also say.  Some women wear Mom Jeans to conceal something they don't want the world to see.  Or some women aren't afraid to rock the "Mom Butt"/camel toe combo.

Whatever the reason may be, it seems as though Mom Jeans aren't limited to the normal folk of America.  Even celebrities occasionally rock the Mom Jeans.  Jessica Simpson, for example, isn't afraid to go on stage with a stylish pair of Mom Jeans.  I don't think her goal was style though, judging by the extra weight she put on, thus confirming one of my suspicions as to why women wear Mom Jeans (concealment). Either that or she loves rocking the camel toe. Although she is not a mother, wearing these jeans has directly resulted in her sporting "Mom Butt".

Designed for women, Mom Jeans have crossed over into the men's section of your local clothing store.  It seems as though Mom Jeans have even moved to a new house.  The White House that is.  Michelle Obama is a very physically fit, stylish lady.  Too bad she can't dress her husband as well as she dresses herself.

President Obama has taken a liking to wearing Mom Jeans, resulting in a new, hybrid phenomenon I like to call "Dad Butt".  This is still a new phenomenon so there hasn't been as much research and scientific data about "Dad Butt", but if it's going to start somewhere, where better than with the President?

Even the writers at SNL discovered the "Mom Butt" phenomenon and created a commercial advertising Mom Jeans. This commercial truly captures the unique and jazzy essence of Mom Jeans.

While I understand some women may not have a choice in wearing Mom Jeans--these jeans could be the only jeans they can afford, or they are just destined to be frumpy.  I just want you women to know that you do have a choice in what jeans you wear.  You can wear stylish jeans without pleats.  You can find comfy jeans without a high waist.  And for those of you women who are actually moms wearing Mom Jeans, I have one last thing to say.

Just because you're a Mom doesn't mean you have to wear Mom Jeans.  But if you choose to, beware you have just given yourself to the cultural phenomenon known as "Mom Butt".


Emily said...

i love that you use the word crotch in this blog...HA HA HA

Marc said...

I've seen and been horrified by the sight for the last thirty years.

Lift your game, you mothers !

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