Dancing With The Stars No One Cares About Anymore

There are several shows on TV I literally cannot stand; some of these shows I've even refused to watch because I know I'll hate them immediately and regret wasting precious moments of my life tuned in to these atrocities.

Anything on MTV falls in this category. I've boycotted MTV since 1999 since they stopped playing Music on TV. Change your acronym to RTV (Reality TV). Laguna Beach, The Hills, and Jersey Shore used to be locations in the United States, but somehow they've ended up being popular TV shows. WHY?!?!?!?

There are some reality shows I like watching, although they're not really "reality". I like The Biggest Loser, American Idol, and So You Think You Can Dance, but I think these are more competition shows than "reality" anyway.

But one reality/competition show I literally hate is Dancing With The Stars.  Whose bright idea was it to gather professional dancers and pair them with C-list and D-list so called celebrities and vote on their dancing? WTF??? 

I don't understand the reason this show is on TV.  American Idol--contestants are required to have raw talent and it's an opportunity to showcase themselves as musicians.  Same with SYTYCD--contestants also need to have raw talent.  Biggest Loser--contestants struggle to change their bodies by changing their attitudes, and it's both inspirational and heartwarming.

But what is the purpose of DWTS? I think it's an opportunity for those celebs who are recently caught in scandals to clear their name by learning the Fox Trot and the Samba as a distraction so we forget their douchebag factor and say "hey, maybe they're not so bad...I mean, she really rocked the socks off that contemporary routine".

This past week, ABC released it's celeb lineup.  Get ready for it. When I read it, I knew for sure the world was ending; it's a sign, just like the earthquakes that have been shaking our world lately.

Here are a couple noteworthy celebrities has-beens/cougars who will grace the DWTS stage in 2010:

1. Pamela Anderson: Why is she famous again? Baywatch? Kid Rock? She's so irrelevant, I can't even remember.  What I do know is that she needs to be counted as three contestants because her pair of twins could do the Cha Cha all on their own. 

2. Kate Gosselin: Again...why is she famous? If her skills on the dance floor are as good as her mother/wife skills, viewers are in for a real treat. I wonder if anyone informed Kate that she would have to dance and not just sit on a yellow chair in front of the camera. I'm hoping Pam Anderson will pull a Tonya Harding and take Gosselin out by pulling on her hair extensions and punching her in the babymaker.

3. Shannen Dougherty: Wow.  This former Beverly Hills brat, charming witch, and Made-For-TV film star will surely bring something to the show--drama, STD, or police with a warrant...my guess is a nice combo of each.  She, Pam, and Kate will at least have something in common.

My predictions for this show:
1. Pam's implants will pop during a lift in a routine.
2. Kate's weave will strangle her while she shakes her Mom Butt.
3. Shannen will put a Charmed spell on the judges and take the gold.