Seriously?!?! What's next for Kate G? First, she was on Discovery, then TLC, then she and her hubby graced every magazine cover and tabloid cover for a year, and now she's on ABC on the show "Dancing With The Stars". My question is, how did this happen? And NOW she wants to grace the cover of Playboy?
CNN.com, "When asked if there was any possibility that the mother-of-eight would grace the glossy covers of Playboy, Hugh Hefner says, “No! No!” And the original playboy added insult to injury by suggesting he doesn’t even know why she’s on Dancing with the Stars. Hef explained, “I don’t think she’s a celebrity.”
You know Hef, I don't usually agree with you or your tactics; quite frankly, I think you're an old pervert, but I couldn't agree with you more. Not only is she an ogre, inside and out, but she's not even a celebrity/star! And I certainly can't imagine Hef posing for a pic like this any time soon:
Shallow? Yes. But that's how Hugh is. He didn't get to where he is today by hanging out with women like Kate Gosselin. So why would he allow her to be in his magazine, or possibly even own one? And yes, that is a real pic of Kate G (see my blog post about that pic here).
Kate has recently received a makeover for DWTS, a makeover where she's barely recognizable until she opens her mouth, or makes any facial expression. If she just stands in one spot and smiles like a mannequin, no one would really know it was her, especially without the backwards mullet she sported for years! But she is incapable of doing that. She's always making a sour face and when she opens her mouth, nothing but toxic words ooze out. So she has had an ego boost about her makeover, but I think she's forgotten everything else. Luckily for her, I haven't.
Not only has Kate had 8 children, plastic surgery, and a partial lobotomy, but it's bad enough we have to see her face and listen to her talk, let alone possibly see her pink panther?! I mean, next time someone has sex with her (if EVER anyone will go there), it'll be like throwing a hot dog down a hallway! Kate, Your love triangle is bent way out of shape, not to mention your boobs from breast feeding more offspring than a barnyard animal...there's only so much air brushing can actually do for you!
It's time for you to face the music. No one wants to see your naked body, not even your husband (hence why he cheated) so what makes you think the rest of America wants to. On top of that, learn to dance already or get off the damn show!
Apparently, "Dancing judge Bruno Tonioli visited Lopez Tonight on April 7 and while he didn’t question Kate’s celebrity status he did call her ballroom skills 'dreadful', 'a catastrophe' and 'crap.'" All adjectives that can also be used to describe Kate as a person!
Instead of Kate focusing on pretending to dance on DWTS or thinking her 35-year old mombody is actually attractive and good enough to be in Playboy magazine, she really needs to learn the difference between fame and infamy. Since I know she won't do it herself, I'll help you out.
Fame: the state or quality of being widely honored and acclaimed. Fame refers to renown and reputation, or a position of public prominence. All of the associations with fame are generally positive, implying the person is respected and honored as well as being famous.
Infamy: a state of extreme dishonor. The associations with infamy are negative, suggesting that although someone and his or her actions are well known, many people wish that this was not the case.
People who are famous: Michael Jackson. Muhammad Ali. Amelia Earhart. Leonardo DiVinci.
People who are infamous: John Dillinger. Charles Manson. Ted Bundy. Hitler. Jon & Kate Gosselin.
Keep that in mind next time you get a hair brained idea to try and get on the cover of Playboy. Chelsea Handler, Kate Beckinsale, Angelina Jolie...now they belong on the cover. Kate G? Not so much. That's like asking the mom from the TLC show "19 Kids & counting" to let the world see her naked body, after giving birth to a small tribe! No thank you!
The only cover you should be on, Kate, is "Uncle John's Bathroom Reader", placed right next to the toilet while I take my morning dump. I took the liberty to even create a sample cover. It seems fitting.
**Disclaimer: Please remember I am not prejudiced towards women who are not up to Hugh Hefner's standards to be in Playboy or on the cover. This is simply for entertainment purposes only.**