Sh*t I Don't Get Vol. 3

Wearing Socks with Sandals: When the weather gets warm or when people go on vacation, one of the first things they get excited about is wearing sandals. Gone are the constricting socks and the shoes that make feet feel claustrophobic.  I love sandals. I hate wearing shoes and even more than I hate wearing shoes is wearing socks.

Sandals are the closest thing a person can get to being barefoot.  But when some douchebag decides wearing socks with sandals is a good idea, I really don't get it. What is the purpose of wearing sandals if you're just going to put on socks before hand? Hello! Sandals are for us barefoot folk, not you socked folk!

While I understand there are some reasons people want to wear socks with sandals, I tell those people "Wear Shoes". There is no reason to EVER wear socks with sandals.  If your feet are covered in corns and callouses, it's best to keep the shoes on.  If you're embarrassed about your piglet feet, keep your shoes on.  If you think your feet might get cold or sweat, wear shoes. The whole purpose of wearing sandals is to let your feet rock the outside air, not to keep them constricted.

The worst offenders are the ones who wear socks with thong sandals. Wearing socks with sandals makes no logical sense whatsoever, but what's even more puzzling is wearing socks with thong sandals.   It's like wearing a super tight skirt and trying to walk.  You are spreading apart your toes but are limited by the sock. WTF! How is that even comfortable?! It's not; it's idiotic.


No one will ever convince me there is ever a reason to wear socks with sandals. There is no logical explanation. If you must wear socks, then you must wear shoes. Don't embarrass yourself by wearing socks with sandals. It's completely unacceptable.


People Who Don't Read:  I absolutely love to read.  I always have. As a 5th grader, I had a reading level of a high school senior.  I always chose reading over watching TV.  I excelled at reading, writing, and grammar during my entire education. Although I'm an avid reader, I understand other people aren't.  And that's ok. As long as you read once in a while and keep your mind engaged, I don't have an issue with it.

But what I really don't get is people who don't read...at all! It is frightening the amount of people who only read what is absolutely necessary--street signs, food labels, and a TV guide--how can you survive without reading?

For me, reading is escaping reality.  My life isn't horrible; don't get me wrong. But sometimes I like to live someone else's life for a while.  When I open a book, I'm immediately taken to another world, another life, and I get to experience something I never will unless I read that particular book.  Stories have been around since the beginning of time, but people have gotten lazy.  Reading keeps brains active, motivated, and engaged.

I want to strangle those parents who don't read to their children, or even encourage reading. Reading is one of the most important parts of childhood development. It's not just the simple process of reading a book, it's learning different words, sounds, concepts, and generally using your imagination.

Make time every day to read. There are so many good stories and amazing authors out there and it's a shame not everyone takes the time to honor the ageless process of story telling.


Man Boobs (aka Moobs): In civilized society, any female with breasts is expected to wear a bra to keep their tits in check.  I'm sure there are other reasons why women should wear bras, but let's focus on one point at a time.  If your boobs are large enough to bounce up and down, it's time for a bra. 

But why is it not the same for men? Men with boobs should have to wear a bra, just like any female.  If it's not acceptable for me to go to the grocery store with my boobs sagging (which they don't; they're quite perky actually) and my nipples poking towards the cashier, then men should not be allowed to either.  If I can't walk around the community pool with my tits flopping about, then neither should that fat guy with the DD cup!  Tits are tits no matter whose body they're on!

Moobs are not only creepy, but they're just nasty.  Men should not have boobs. Men have nipples, but should not have tits. They serve no function. They're not even pleasant to look at. But, some men do have tits and I think this is a huge problem.

Men get moobs from being overweight, thyroid problems, an increase in estrogen, and/or a decrease in testosterone; women get boobs from simply being women. Yet the same rule about bras should apply.  That's my point. There are only certain situations where I actually show my tits to other people (and yes, sometimes I do it in public, but mostly in private situations), but it's not generally accepted in our society.  So, next time a man with moobs decides to hit the beach and let his DDs hang, he should wear a tankini top...just like I have to.