Honky Tonk Not So Honky Anymore

Country music has its roots planted in deep conservatism.  Country music has many different genres, including honky tonk, rockabilly, outlaw country, pop country, country rock, and many more.

But country and its sub-genres have something in common.  Basically every single country artist is white and straight. That's how it always has been. Until now.

With the recent success of black country artist Darius Rucker and Chely Wright "coming out", we know have black and gay people entering the country music world.  FINALLY! Who decided this genre should be so uptight? I'm pretty sure there was also a Cowboy Troy somewhere in the mix, but I think we've all forgotten about him.

Whether or not they'll be welcomed by all who listen to country music, especially the bible-beating folk in the South, I say it's about damn time someone breaks through the stereotypical barrier of country music.  These two artists have certainly opened the doors to make being different okay in a tight knit, conservative music genre known as country.


Now we can look forward to hearing songs about how a woman's wife beats on her, steals her Kia and foodstamps from their crackhouse in the ghetto, and heads for California to find a hot lesbian actress to live happily ever after with.

Joking. I'm a fan of country music, and I'm an even bigger fan of people breaking down barriers that other people before them have been afraid to break through.
Hootie: 1.
Single White Female: 1.
Country Music World: 0.

Boyz II LAMEn

Who can forget the album Cooleyhighharmony, with tracks like "Motown Philly", "End Of The Road", and "It's So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday"?

This album was one of my favorites growing up in the 90's, along with TLC's "Crazysexycool", and Red Hot Chili Pepper's "Bloodsugarsexmagik", and not because of their run-on names, but because they were simply awesome. As a kid, I do have to admit that I didn't particularly enjoy listening to the albums in their entirety, but what I did like was listening to my favorite songs repeatedly, like "Motown Philly", "Creep", and "Under The Bridge", respectfully.

Over the years, these artists have had a range of success--releasing new albums along with greatest hits albums, RHCP being the most successful of the three, and my personal favorite. TLC and Boyz II Men are both 90's has been artists, and that's where they should stay. No one liked "Fanmail", TLC's album that came out on the brink of 99-00. And I can't remember anyone buying Boyz II Men records unless they were greatest hits albums, of which there are several, although I only remember a handful of "hits". 

Luckily, RHCP was able to break through into the 00's with even better records than the ones they released in the 90's. TLC and Boyz II Men are both talented groups, but let's face it, the white boys of RHCP beat you this time.

But now, Boyz II Men is releasing an album titled "Love", and it features songs about guess what? LOVE.  I want to know how this album is any different than any other album of theirs.  I did some research and found an interview on CNN.com, where Wanya Morris states about the new album, "The title embodies everything that Boyz II Men represents. Every album we have ever done has always had a representation of love."

Thank you Captain Obvious.  Of course all your songs are about love--you are black R&B singers. What else are you going to sing about? That's what R&B is!  This album features a variety of love tunes, including Journey's "Open Arms," the Goo Goo Dolls' "Iris," and "In My Life" by the Beatles. Great. So now we can look forward to singles done by white guys covered by suave, cool as a cucumber, sexy black men.

Sorry guys, but this album is a stretch.  While I appreciate your creativity and musical talent, I can't help but wonder if this was your idea, or if Randy Jackson from American Idol had too much influence on you boyz to sing cover songs instead of writing your own? I mean, that's what they do on American Idol, right?

I liked you better with when you sported sexy flat tops while singing "I'll Make Love To You".  Nothing, and I mean nothing, can beat that.

Her Uterus Will Go On

Let me first preface this by saying I am not, by any means, a Céline Dion fan by any sense of the word.  Not my type of music, not a big fan of her as a musician, and I am most certainly creeped out by her husband, René Angélil. And this news just makes it worse.

The creepy Canadian couple are trying to get pregnant. Again. 

Perhaps what bothers me the most is the fact that this couple isn't focusing on Céline's musical career, or her many Vegas shows like they should be...I mean, she hasn't had a hit since the Titanic sunk, so...  No. They are focusing instead on having another baby!  There's a catch though...Céline cannot get pregnant without the help of science, which isn't that surprising, considering her husband was born a year after Pearl Harbor was attacked.  Any man in his late 60's should need the help of science not only to achieve an erection, but also to make baby batter!

René is 67 years old, and Céline is 41.  Together, their combined age is 108 years.  My problem isn't the fact these two are trying to have a child, my concern is for the unborn child being born to two parents who are eligible for AARP and Medicaid. It's bad enough they already parented a child in 2001, a boy who is now 8 years old, with parents who are 67 and 41. Neat.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, age is just a number...try telling that to a 15 year old boy whose father just died from a heart attack, and a mother who has just been diagnosed with breast cancer! Sure, these can happen to any family at any time, but the chances are higher, the older you get.

Let me say that my own father is 67 years old, the same age as René, and I cannot imagine having an 8-year old sibling, or accepting the fact that my parents are trying to have more children at their ages!!! Boy do I feel sorry for their young boy, not just because he has a senior citizen for a father, or the fact that René was nearly 30 before Céline was born, but because his parents are Céline and René!

If they do end up getting pregnant vis a vis test tubes and sperm squirts and whatever else is involved in VF, when the child is 5 years old, he'll have to be changing his father's diapers!!!  Talk about role reversal! I just don't think it's fair to bring children into this world (celebrity or not) after a certain age.  Your babymaking years are behind you, so far in fact, they are a mere speck in the distance.

Try adoption.  Or fostering a child.  Both are less expensive (not like you have to worry), intrusive, and a more fair way of bringing a child into this world.

Maybe Céline wants to have as many children as she can because she herself is the youngest of fourteen children.  Stop being selfish and think about your future children.  Do you want them to play with trucks and Legos, or administer blood pressure meds and morphine to their parents before they're teenagers?

Céline, I promise you, both your heart and uterus will go on without polluting the planet with more scientifically made test tube babies. And the world will thank you.

The Biggest Idol Loser

Recently, Idol contestant Chris Sligh (season 6 where Jordin Sparks won) commented on how no one cares about the Idol losers after the tour is done.  Popeater.com featured some quotes from his blog, one of which stated: "You are going to struggle. No one will care about you. Those fans who've been asking for your autograph all tour long - 98% of them don't give a flying poo about you once next season of Idol starts."

Um...pretty sure I didn't give a "flying poo" about you when you were on American Idol.  Pretty sure there was a reason why you didn't win, and why no one cares.  Maybe it's your mediocre singing that landed you NOT in the winner's position.  Maybe it's your "poor poor pitiful me" attitude that makes people not care.  Or maybe it's the fact that you try to hard to look and act like Jonah Hill.

I beg to differ with your theory that no one cares about the loser Idol contestants. I'm pretty sure Gaiken (Clay Aiken) still makes headlines, and somehow still makes money with his records.  Lifetime cared enough about Fantasia to not only make a movie about her, but to cast her in the leading role, playing as herself.  People still care about the great efforts Bo Bice goes through to maintain his long locks and bad ass facial hair, although he looks like how Axl Rose looked like right before he dropped out of high school.  People still care about the two Idol losers who now work for the TV guide channel, that Justin guy and some blond bimbo.

Let me just point out that the Idol losers tend to have more success than the Idol winners.   Chris Daughtry has made an amazing career for himself with his band, Daughtry.  Adam Lambert will continue to blow people away in his 2nd place finish.  No one barely remembers Ruben Studdard and Taylor Hicks, mainly because although they were winners, other Idol losers from their respective seasons just beat them after the show was done.  Americans realized their mistake during the voting, and fixed it by supporting the good contestants after the show.

It's time to face the facts.  It's not the Idol losers the American public stops caring about, it's just you.