My Anti-Valentine

Oh Emily, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways. (BARF)

Emily is an off-key singing, terrible dancing, tennis ball sniffing, big breasted, smiling silly woman. And today, she is my anti-valentine and I am hers.

I hate Valentine's Day. There. I said it. I think it's stupid. Before you call me a hater, let me explain.

I consider myself to be romantic. Not hopeless, but I like to do nice romantic things for Emily. But I like to be original, unique. If I want to surprise her with a gift, a bouquet of flowers (and never roses), or a romantic dinner, I will pick a random day to do it. A day she's not expecting it. I love her every single day of the year, so I am in no mad hurry to show her that I love her "extra", one day out of the year. Because I don't. I don't love her extra on 14 February; I just love her every day. Plain and simple.

Plus there's too much pressure on people for Valentine's Day. What if I don't get enough roses? What if she doesn't like my gift? I got her a diamond ring last year; what can I get her this year that will top it? Where can we have a super romantic dinner? Um...no thank you. I have enough pressure in my life being awesome, I don't need any extra.

Every year, it's the same thing. People spend way too much money on roses, which honestly, are NOT the prettiest flowers on earth. Nor are they the cheapest. Unless you buy them from the Hispanic guy on the I95 exit ramp. People spend too much time stressing over and picking out a gift. Candles? Jewelry? Vacation? Gift certificates?

And don't even get me started on those people who think it's cute and original to propose on Valentine's day. Dude, that's about as original as making a ham on Easter. Come on.

The only thing Valentine's Day is good for is boosting the economy, helping small businesses (restaurants, chocolatiers, florists, etc.) making single people feel lonely, and helping married couples have sex during the week. In this respect, fine. Valentine's Day: 1. Me: 0. You may have won that battle, but I will win the war about Valentine's Day. This holiday causes more stress, panic, pressure, and heartache than Christmas!

Thankfully, Emily feels the same way about Valentine's Day as I do. In fact, one year she made me an Anti V-Day card that was blue and black and looked like a bruise and it may have featured an anti-love poem. I had never felt so in love before! Girl gets me.

By choosing to not celebrate, there's no pressure on me to perform as anything but myself on V-Day. No pressure to outdo myself every year. No pressure to be über romantic, spend tons of money on chocolate or flowers, or to really do anything special besides tell her I love her, which I do every day anyway.

I love doing romantic things for Emily. I love surprising her with Gerbera daisies (her favorite and way prettier than roses) randomly. I love taking her out on the town, my treat. I love leaving her short notes on the bathroom mirror. Sending her sweet text messages. I love doing all that, so although it's shocking that I don't revel in the splendor that Valentine's Day creates for other people, I just don't see the point in over-celebrating when I celebrate with her every day. I love her every single day and simply don't feel it's necessary to go out of my way, one day of the year, to proclaim my love for her in outrageous ways.