I am a pop culture junkie, so it's no surprise I hang out at Popeater.
Today, I clicked on "Celebrity Twitter" to see what our celeb pals are tweeting about. The first one mentioned something about Jessica Simpson and how people are pranking her, saying they found her dog Daisy. Cruel? Indeed. Slightly funny? In a twisted way, yes.
Kris Allen tweeted about how he's recording his music in the same studio where Prince recorded Purple Rain and trying to soak it all in, no pun intended.
Kelly Osbourne tweeted about how she won some stupid award for her unique style of dressing. I didn't know "rehab" was an outfit.
But the tweet that caught my eye belonged to Hugh Hefner's ex girlfriend Bridget Marquardt, or "BM" as I dubbed her. I read it, and then reread, and during the third reading, I realized this was a tweet that demanded me to read between the lines and make my own translation.
She tweeted: "My palms were sweating with anticipation and nervousness throughout Paranormal Activity. Unfortunately, it never paid off. Not too scary".
I digress. Here's how I interpreted her tweet--I'll break it down for you, sentence by sentence, and beware, there are only 3...folks, there's a reason she was a Playboy bunny, and not an astronaut.
"Unfortunately, it never paid off"= "Damnit! I got my hands all lubed up for nothing! Damn old man can barely get it half mast, let alone full sail with fireworks!"
"Not too scary" = "I've seen and done A LOT worse!"
Next time BM, you don't have to speak in code to get your point across. Just say what you mean.