16 September 2009

Is a Bad Haircut Considered Child Abuse?

I hate people who abuse children. I hate people who hurt animals. I hate people who hurt the elderly. Basically, I hate people who prey on the weak and helpless. It's just not fair! It isn't the same as beating on your little brother, who is also weak and defenseless. Sibling rivalry is one thing, but mutilating cats, abusing children, and taking advantage of the elderly are completely different.

Although I don't condone physical discipline of any kind, I still firmly believe in spanking to stress a behavior is wrong. Hell, I was spanked practically every day of my life, with bare hands, spatulas, spoons, wet towels, etc. You name it and it probably made contact with my ass.

I'm also a big fan of the washing a child's mouth out with soap, although the best way to do it is to let your child pick what soap they wish to put in their mouth. Usually, parents use this technique when a child has a "potty mouth", or speaks out of turn.

Any other form of physical discipline/abuse is just out of question. It is NOT okay to slap your kids across the face, burn cigarettes into their skin, nor is it acceptable to lock them in a basement with tepid water and a stale loaf of bread.

The most dramatic form of child abuse isn't something that can be light on fire and burned into your skin, nor can it be found in the kitchen utensil drawer, or even below the sink. No, you can get over that.

What children can NOT get over, is a bad haircut. And not just a bad haircut, but the one and only "Chullet", or a "Child Mullet". I like to call these hairdos "Child Abuse Mullets", because there is NO reason in the world for parents to insist their children have these haircuts unless it is to degrade/humiliate/torture them not only as children, but as adults as well.

This, folks, is something this girl has NEVER come back from. She thinks about this awful haircut, every day of her life, and spends thousands of dollars on therapy trying to work through her issues. This poor girl is probably living a life in a trailer park, married to some choad named Bobby Ray, with three trashy kids, all of which could have been avoided with a different haircut, which would have led to a different opportunity in life. Thanks to her parents and this "chullet", she has more than likely been traumatized to the point she has nightmares about the day this picture was taken.

So, to those of you parents who are thinking about giving your child a seemingly harmless haircut, or "chullet", please remember this one decision will pave the way your child will take in life. Before you tell the hair dresser to chop off the front and sides, but let the back hang loose and fast, think again. If you want your child to love you for the rest of your life, you will settle for a cute bob, or even a high and tight haircut. Now, if your child somehow finds a pair of scissors, and takes matters into his/her own hands, and the ONLY option you have left while you sit at the hair salon, both you and the child in tears, is to either shave off all the hair or get a mullet, ALWAYS opt for the shave!

Ironically enough, the Chullet's cousin, the "Rat Tail", is not considered child abuse because it takes a dedicated adolescent to grow out a strip of hair, avoiding it while the rest of his hair gets cut. It takes months, sometimes years, to grow out an amazing rat tail, a task in which most parents and defenseless children are not up to doing. Once the rat tail has years of TLC, it can even grow into adulthood and have a happy life resting on your shoulders, and snoozing on the back of your neck.

This boy here obviously put in a good 10 months growing this rat out, and he even topped it off with a nice blue dye job. Kids can overcome years of donning a rat tail, but more often than not, children are deeply traumatized by any version of the "Chullet".

Parents, let your child decide. Stick with a simple haircut. Don't be so drastic and stupid. If your child decides he/she would like a mullet/rat tail, let them decide that on their own; don't make that decision for them. It's just not right.


CelticLady said...

Seems that we did not use the spoon, spatula, hand and you forgot about the foot that was used on a daily basis.... and the soap, well I guess we didn't iuse the right kind casue it did not work... thus the potty mouth....
your loving mother....

Tara said...

I just read in the news yesterday that a guy (in Tampa I think) was arrested for child abuse for shaving his kids head cuz she stole something.

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