15 September 2009
Mullets on the Menu at McDonalds?
Every once in a while, I come across a picture that not only touches my heart, but literally astounds me. When I see such pictures, I feel like I have been punched in the ovaries and diaphragm simultaneously, losing all my breath. I gasp for air, grasp the armrests of my chair, and hold on to the emotions that overcome me.
Now, these pictures come in a variety of categories. Once in a while, a picture of a cute, cuddly, kitten tugs at my heart strings. Kittens are innocent, sweet little animals that make most people fall to their knees, myself included.
Other times, I'll see pictures of the most adorable puppies ever born on this planet...sometimes they're passed out on their backs in weird positions, or sometimes they're with other animals, like a kitten or a goofy farm animal.
I particularly enjoy pictures of curious kids, although I despise the show "America's Funniest Home Videos", but I digress. Kids are freaks of nature, and are willing to do and say almost anything. Once in a great while, I'll catch a photo of a kid who will, like a kitten, tug at my heart strings.
Less often than I would like, I come across a true gem of a photo. A photo only one in a million photographers can capture properly. A photo that knocks the wind out of you and bleeds awesomeness.
I am not talking about photos of cute kittens, or amazing puppies, or curious kids. I'm not talking about photos of nature, raw emotion, or special events.
Photos like this take true talent. You must be an adventurist, an opportunist, and a risk taker of the utmost degree. Who can take photos like this? I'll tell you...a mullet hunter, that's who.
Mullet hunters have been a rare species, but are becoming more and more well known as the people on this planet continue breeding exponentially. It used to be mullet hunters were societal outcasts, horrible people, but now, they are highly revered in their art.
Today is a day that has changed my life. I have seen a photo that has changed me, and the way I view life, and even McDonald's. I'm not a fast food junkie, nor am I a photographer, but some days I wish I was both so I could take credit for this photo of a beautiful man.
In all his glory, an overweight, red headed, man with a mullet, riding on a modified moped of sorts, cruising at a steady 13 MPH through the McD's parking lot...although the mountains in the background could be considered beautiful, I'm afraid Mother Nature is outshined by the finest human subspecies Planet Earth has to offer; a man with a mullet.
Thank you to the mullet hunter who captured this amazing photo. With your skills, it's a wonder National Geographic hasn't plopped you in a trailer park in Arkansas for a photo essay.