16 September 2009

Kara Kelly's Madea Comes Out

Dear Tyler Perry,

I can't believe you have made yet another Madea movie. The fact that you have the top earning movie of the weekend is literally beyond me.

When you burst onto the scene with your movie "Diary of a Mad Black Woman", where you apparently dress up like a woman, age yourself 50 years, and teach lessons to your family members, you took America by surprise and your film was an unexpected commercial success, so fine, we'll give you credit for being creative, although I'm pretty sure Robin Williams did the EXACT same thing about a decade before you...regardless, good job in busting into the Hollywood movie making scene.

The following year, you decided to come out with a sequel, "Madea's Family Reunion", which some would argue did better than your first movie. No one blamed you for doing a sequel, as a lot of filmmakers attempt and totally fail, ie) Final Destination 1-89; Scream 1-3; and miscellaneous Kevin Smith movies (although I am a HUGE Kevin Smith fan).

I personally respect you for being a playwright and being motivated to the point you bring your plays to Hollywood and turn them into films. But let me remind you, you are no Tennessee Williams, and just because you were born in the same city, does not mean you are of his standards.

How many plays/movies can you write where you dress up like a black Mrs. Doubtfire and it still be funny? The first time, yes. The second time, maybe. But the 3rd, 4th, 5th...18th, 19th times, it just gets old. Not only does it get old on the silver screen, but having multiple TV shows just adds insult to injury.

I give you credit for the movies you make and the plays you write, but I think it's time to retire, George Lucas style. Take off the pantyhose, remove the lipstick, and readjust your balls where they're supposed to be.

P.S. I have an idea for your next play/movie. I am going to write it and direct it, and you will do what I say. It's called "Kara Kelly's Madea Comes Out." I envision a script where everyone finds out Madea is actually a middle aged drag queen who has been fooling everyone for years. Truth is, he/she is actually a middle aged film maker who loves dressing up in women's underwear, tucking his goods behind his legs, and stuffing himself into pantyhose and a dress only women over 80 can get away with...this can be your coming out story Tyler. We all know your secret. Don't wait for years like Lance Bass and Clay Aiken (aka Gayken) to come out. With my new movie, you'll be forced out and one day, you will thank me.

Truly yours,



CelticLady said...

I knew there was a reason that I never watched those movies, thanks KC for giving me more reason to ignore them as I channel surf and wonder, should I watch it or should I watch something on the hunting channel...

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